Autism Awareness Day and Month passes without measurable difference. What do we expect from our neurotypical allies? Since one person’s autistic expression may greatly differ from another’s same diagnosis, I feel we act foolishly to believe in real “acceptance.”

…except from ourselves. We must forge ahead along our own self-determined paths. We’ll need a map!

Numerous voices rise-up to meet our challenge. They offer individualized education plans, sensory-based therapies, and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. Has it worked? Do you feel “accepted” yet?

In adulthood, we must set our own benchmarks.

…and/by stop trying to impress others.

Surprisingly, almost everyone I’ve met fakes being “normal.” While we look at our neighbors’ lovely green lawns too long, our own becomes overgrown or wilts. We may wrestle with educational or medical opinions, but our (neurotypical) friends overdraw their bank accounts. Hiding in plain sight, a (neurotypical) friend’s wonderful vacation pictures overcompensate for their failing marriage. The Joneses cannot keep up with their bloated on-demand lifestyle; why do we want to copy what they themselves cannot maintain?

Try this exercise: pick your favorite person. Examples might include childhood friends, a renowned athlete or scientist, or perhaps a spiritual pioneer. Do you have an example?

Now, realize that over one billion people don’t care about that person. Worse, a lot of people may detest or reject said role model, if they even heard of them. Despite your perfect example, half the planet just won’t care. How do you expect “acceptance” in this environment?

Begin with self-care. Each day, improve one (or more) thing in your life since yesterday. Identify your limits, and gently push those boundaries. Find comfort in family, friends, hobbies and routines. Stop looking at yourself as a member of the “have-not” population. Instead, see yourself as having a little, and wanting more good stuff. Decide for yourself what “good stuff” is and set realistic goals.

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” said Teddy Roosevelt. Love ‘im or hate ‘im, his statement rings true. Acceptance implies waiting on others’ approval or membership invitation. Forget it. Instead – take it – by controlling your life in healthy, meaningful, and measurable ways. Become your own role-model in front of the bathroom mirror. We needn’t have everything; we have a willingness to change for good. Let this ideal guide us to eventually, maybe, someday, accept ourselves. Stop hoping everyone else may realize how amazing we can be.

Show me – don’t tell me – how we accept ourselves.