PHILADELPHIA PHILOSOPHER, 25 JAN 2073

NASA Fully Militarized by Crockett, Kennedy

Boulder City, Nevada – President John F. Kennedy (clone) addressed the United States Congress on Tuesday. After a brief speech, Congress passed the NASA Empowerment Bill. Representative Davy Crockett (R, Tenn) introduced the bill that passed unanimously. “We protect America’s air, lands, and seas. To ensure our freedoms, we must look beyond our fears of the unknown,” said the former King of the Wild Frontier.

Recent international events helped expedite committee and voting procedures. In December, alien invasion destroyed many government buildings in the District of Columbia. Army forces helped relocate and rebuild by the Hoover Dam. The Coast Guard now actively patrols the Colorado River by boats and balloons.

Kennedy’s speech marked the first Presidential Address since the White House moved to Nevada. H.R. 1343 called for the immediate militarization of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). Kennedy seeks a “strategic combination of new technology and traditional military defense.”

Multiple sources point to United States Air Force Colonel Charles Cameahwait as an obvious choice to spearhead this initiative. A direct descendant of Native American explorer – Sacagawea – his experience and leadership makes Cameahwait a logical choice to oversee “a seamless transition of private and public services united for common good,” as Kennedy wants.